Pain, Loss, and Brokenness

Lately I have been dealing with how much loss that has found its way into my life. This summer two of my neighbors passed away. My uncle lost his battle with brain cancer. My fathers eye has been bothering him for some time now. The doctors want to remove it or keep placing medicated contacts on it.

Two very great friends have been ailing from M.S. lately. One friend's condition has been escalating because of stress and the pressures that have come upon him. He was told that his M.S. is progressive. He has the heart of a champion and desires to care for all of his families needs. The only time he slows down is when his body is completely spent.

I have watched him when a charlie horse surged through his leg. It was heartbreaking to see him in pain hobbling to the kitchen to find a chair or whatever he was needing. Feeling helpless because you can't do anything to make the leg relax on its own.

Another friend that has M.S. has a 15 year old son living with her. She also has the heart of a champion. She does everything in her power to make sure everyone's needs are taken care of. Watching her work so hard to prepare meals and clean up after everyone has eaten is so admiring. She knows she is limited in what she can do but never once complains about her current condition.

My father is such an amazing man because he cares so much for his family. He has always done above and beyond to take care of us. He has always been blind in the eye that has been giving him problems lately. The doctors say that the eye is deteriorating and that is why it has been itching and giving him pain.

I received a call from a friend because one of his youth took his life early this summer. My friend had been struggling with the death as being his fault, because he didn't reach out or catch what was going on in time. I later learned that this youth had been worried about some health problems that he was encountering.

A friends wife has had some scary times lately and had experienced some complications with her pregnancy. I praise God that everything turned out alright after a doctor's visit and a handsome sonogram of their child! I continue to pray for her because this is her first pregnancy.

The resignation of my pastor has been one of the most heartbreaking ordeals as well. I had become very close to him and watching all of the many painful moments in his life was sad. However, I know that God will be a comfort to him and his family as they wait for the next appointed task. So painful to see others hurting as they are called away to be apart of a new chapter that is being written. Something that I will be grateful for is that God chose to allow me to play a small role in their story.

With all of this suffering that I have watched and had some sharing in I am reminded that "And we know that for those who love God all things work together hfor good,1for ithose who are called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28." This is the only thing that brings me sanity and comfort in a fallen and broken world. I have desired with all of my heart to take their suffering and pain away, but God has a reason for allowing all of it. I have so much love for all of them and my prayer is that it shows in my life. John Piper said that when someone you love so dearly has suffered great loss sometimes the best thing to do is just to be silent and listen to them. Many times the words don't come like you wished they would. However, it is so important to understand that you have been called to love them and to be Jesus to them. We are Christ incarnate and are ministering to them as the Holy Spirit gives direction.

Please pray for me and for these folks that I've mentioned. I know they would greatly appreciate it.

Something New

I listened to Forgotten God by Francis Chan I was compelled to pray. The book gave me more encouragement to ask for more of His Spirit in my life. I've been praying and pleading for the Holy Spirit to know that He is invited, and welcome in my life, and in my church. I was having a hard time sleeping Sunday night, because some anxieties had plagued me.

I sent a message to a few close friends and he responded. He and his wife prayed for me before they went to sleep. There was a peace that arrived today and this is what God allowed me to realize tonight. It is only because of God's care in my life that any thing good falls on me.

"We call out for God to work, to begin new things, to touch peoples lives, and when He begins to do it we become mesmerized. We also get scared because we don't know how we are going to handle it. I urge you to hold fast to the one who has been holding on to you. Let your Brothers and Sisters In Christ know so they may pray for you. He is doing new things! Rejoice!!!"